


can't stop the rain

by arthur_pendragon



Series: Pornalot 2018 [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, Love Confessions, M/M, Season/Series 04, Sexual Fantasy, Simpleton Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 04:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16443056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthur_pendragon/pseuds/arthur_pendragon
Summary: “Sorry to have been a disappointment, Merlin,” Arthur says. “I’ll try harder in future.”He means it. Merlin says his is a thankless job, and Arthur isn’t a very good king if he doesn’t treat his servants well. Not that Merlin is just another servant — he is so much more.





	can't stop the rain

**Author's Note:**

> this entry didn't place, which is unsurprising
> 
> please enjoy this fic regardless!

“Sorry to have been a disappointment, Merlin,” Arthur says. “I’ll try harder in future.”

He means it. Merlin says his is a thankless job, and Arthur isn’t a very good king if he doesn’t treat his servants well. Not that Merlin is just another servant — he is so much more. Arthur’s always wanted to see Merlin happy. His own elation at having his favourite person in all Albion all to himself has dissipated to vapours; the fact that Merlin doesn’t know how much Arthur loves him is gutting.

Merlin _should_ know.

“I adore you quite a lot, Merlin,” he says. “I love you.”

It hurts that Merlin is so surprised at that. “All right, Arthur,” he answers. “You’re not too unlikeable yourself.”

That makes Arthur smile, wide and bright. “Even though I’m a disappointment?”

Merlin looks shamefaced.“I — I didn’t really mean that, Arthur. You’re brilliant, you know.”

“You are, too. More than I am. You’re so lovely, Merlin. You’re my heart’s desire.” Arthur moves over to Merlin’s log. The fire spits and crackles, flames licking higher for just the briefest moment. Merlin turns towards him, bewildered. Arthur fits his hand round the side of Merlin’s neck. He’s always wanted to do that. Merlin’s neck is long, smooth, and Arthur’s always hated the neckerchief that covers it up. Merlin took it off for the night; mumbling something about the fire making him too sweaty.

“Arthur?” Merlin’s voice is uncertain.

“You’re beautiful,” Arthur whispers, earnest and intense. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”

“Oh, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Merlin answers. Arthur doesn’t think he’s imagining the guilt with which Merlin’s slowly pushing Arthur’s hand off his neck. He shuffles closer. He’s a disappointment disappointment _disappointment_ — and the least he could do is try and be less of one by making his favourite person happy.

So he asserts, “I do,” because he does. “I’ve never taken my eyes off you since you came to Camelot. I could never forget the way you called me a friend and an ass. I liked you instantly, and I loved the way you looked, too; disrespectful and defiant, and the way you bowed to me like it was an insult. I was so pleased that my father bound us together, because it meant I’d have an excuse to see you every day.”

Merlin inhales. “Well, you certainly didn’t show it,” he says, laughing softly in a way that makes Arthur believe he isn’t really laughing at all. He continues to watch Merlin, steady and sharp. Merlin swallows and faces away from Arthur.

Arthur watches his neck and his sublime ear nearly _gleam_ in the firelight. “I couldn’t,” he explains. Why doesn’t Merlin understand? “I couldn’t show you how much I was in love with you, Merlin, what would you have done had you known? I thought you hated me, thought I was the bane of your life — oh, Merlin, why do you look like that? Do you hurt, Merlin? Where?” He examines Merlin’s hands, his knees and calves.

“Nowhere you can touch, my simpleton,” Merlin sighs. He doesn’t meet Arthur’s eyes even when Arthur curls a finger over his jaw and tilts his head back. Arthur swallows. He hadn’t wanted _this_. He hadn’t desired to make Merlin’s misery worse. He leans closer, wondering if he’s allowed, and places a soft kiss on Merlin’s cheekbone, right beneath his eye.

When Merlin melts just the slightest towards him, shoulders hunching on the way, Arthur pulls him into his side. Merlin seems like he’d wanted it, like he was cold, even though there’s a roaring fire going and he took his neckerchief off. “I love you, Merlin. All the years that I’ve known you, I’ve wanted to be someone of whom you could be proud. I love you so much. You’re my best friend, you’re my only friend, you’re my heart and soul.”

“Really?” Merlin asks, quiet and small. He looks up tentatively at Arthur, at his mouth.

Arthur waits.

“Did you ever want to kiss me?” Merlin asks hoarsely. Arthur rushes to answer.

“All the time. I’ve wanted to kiss you everywhere, not just when you’re in my chambers or with me on the battlements; I’ve wanted my father to see, my knights and Guinevere and Gaius and everyone to see us kissing so they’d know you were mine and that you had my heart. I’ve wanted — I _want_ to hold you close, to breathe in your air and your singular scent.”

“More,” Merlin begs. “Tell me more.”

“I want to push you down on my bed. You’d look so good on my bed covers. I’d take your clothes off piece by piece, the opposite of the way you dress me, and I’d spread your legs and sit between them. You would look stunning under me, Merlin.”

Arthur stares straight into Merlin’s wide eyes, silver green in the light, hoping Merlin believes every word of this. Arthur will never get the chance to say any of it again. “I need to suck your cock. I’ve seen you naked on patrols, when you’re washing yourself in the river. I would gladly get on my knees before you and be _your_ servant. When you’re in my bed, Merlin, in my arms, I’m going to lick your hole open for me and fuck you till you can only say my name. And then I’ll do it slow and gentle, the way you deserve; I’ll make love to you. Because I love you, Merlin. And I don’t know any other way to show you how much I do.”

Merlin says nothing for a long while. And then — “Thank you, Arthur.”

“I would be lucky to have your love.”

“You _do_ ,” Merlin says, suddenly wild and desperate, and before Arthur can even smile, Merlin places a hand on his forehead and whispers something that aches terribly to hear and —

— and then everything is night.

**Author's Note:**

> i would appreciate feedback very much!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] can't stop the rain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454542) by [brokenfannibal_art (broken_fannibal)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/brokenfannibal_art)




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